The Burger King's Tale
by hiyaninja
Summary: Little parody written for AP English. Featuring the Burger King. Highly suggested to read the General Prologue. Cracktastic! I own nothing but the plot.


Burger King's Tale

HERE STARTS THE BURGER KING'S TALE.

The hallway was silent

An in a dark room, our hero sat with a client

There he sat, for many hours

Pondering why he sat there, he seemed to sour

Like milk when it gets too old

And a rancid smell that waits for you to behold

The torture that it afflicts

And revolts addicts

Such as the one that sits before him

With his strange whim

He had a passion

More like an obsession

He wanted the world's greatest muffin

Our hero thought he was bluffin'

The client traveled the world and tasted many

He spent every single penny

Searching for that elusive muffin

His journey has made him toughen

But not even the strongest of pleasure seekers

Could travel the world without comfortable sneakers

Our hero's mission was simple

That he could do it without getting a pimple

He had to find his client a new pair of footwear

But he has to beware

There seems to be a sneaker thief

So our hero sets out on his mission after his debrief

He travels to the local shoe store in the city

It décor is very pretty

With old Victorian pictures

Of old English sinners

He asked the shoe maker for a pair of shoes

"For who?" asks the shoe maker as our hero sits on a misplaced pew

"A client of mine" answers our hero

"I'm sorry but we do not have that size, try the store in the chateau"

"Thank you" says the hero and takes his leave to continue his journey

He passes a man laying on a gurney

Hero reaches the chateau, and goes into the store

He saw a woman that he would ignore

But she was the shop keeper

The shoes here were cheaper

He asks if she had the necessary size

She says she does, but only if he answers her question will he receive his prize

"What can go up a chimney down, but cannot go down a chimney up?"

He felt his brain would blowup

He thought and he thought

He began to answer the question with random answers, such as turnip

Eventually he gave his final answer "An umbrella."

She replied "Well, aren't you a smart fella."

She gave him the shoes and he went on his way

He left smiling and feeling gay

We walked through the streets back to his office

He was overcome with a strange blindness

A sharp pain to the head

He woke up later in his bed

He looked around

And found

His client sitting in a chair

With his fingers in his hair

"It seems the shoe thief has attacked you"

Our hero replies "He's rather cuckoo"

The hero leaves to search for the thief

He goes to the park and kicks at this leaf

As he explores he finds a strange mound

He goes home to retrieve a shovel to dig out what he found

He returns to the park and begins to dig

While he digs his head is hit with a twig

He looks up to discover

The shoe thief as he tries to cover

Our hero is about to be attacked

By the strange man, he gets whacked

By a falling stiletto heel

Made out of steel

Our hero takes his shovel and swings it hard

He hits the thief and he gets up, on guard

The hero raises his weapon again

The thief runs away in pain

The hero continues to dig into the mound

And he is shocked at what he has found

A pile of stolen shoes

He reports what he found to the news

And takes the ones that he got for his client

When he gets to his office, hero is silent

Client looks over and asks him

"Have you found my shoes, Tim?"

Hero holds up the shoes and throws them over

"Take your damn shoes, I'm leaving this town and moving to Dover"

"I'm sorry dear friend if this was more difficult than you expected"

Hero leaves his office feeling dejected

Several years later hero receives a letter

He searches for the name of the sender

It was from his old client with the muffin obsession

In the letter was a confession

Of failure in his epic journey

And becoming a great attorney

The shoe thief was caught

And then brought

To an insane asylum

Where they would make a film

About crazy shoe stealer man

Hero thought that was a crazy plan

Hero closes the letter and turns off the light

He goes to bed and turns in for the night.

HERE ENDS THE BURGER KING'S TALE.


End file.
